We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
