I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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