in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize