Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
