what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
