hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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