If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
