this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
