I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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