**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
