thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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