My pussy is not your playground.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
