kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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