Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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