It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
