Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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