should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
