I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
