Screwed.edu
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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