You can't motorboat a personality
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
