Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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