Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
