Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
