it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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