Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
