Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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