so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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