With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Those nachos came to me in a dream
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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