I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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