I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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