I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
