your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
how does that bad decision feel?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
