summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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