I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
