What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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