I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Small penises have feelings too.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
