Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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