listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize