you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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