Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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