Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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