Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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