Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
