their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
