i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
