The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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