Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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