My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
