I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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