Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
