non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
