All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
