I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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