she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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