did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
