pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
