Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
