maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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