I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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