mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Someone signed my nipple.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize