I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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